Why I write as I do.Preface: The following should not be considered to be a piece of work; its just me talking about what I write and why I write it, I think.
There are obvious patterns connecting much of my scribbling. For example, most of them place the character in a separate group to everyone else, but no more important than them. If anything, less important. Another example is that the character can never really seem to fully grasp the social constructs of the people around him.
What Ive never asked however, is why I write as I do. Heck why do I write at all, for an audience who wont understand or care about my scribbles anyway? (Assuming I have an audience in the first place, which I doubt)
I write how I feel. I feel detached from many of the deeply set aspects of social structure and conduct. There are probably many reasons for that.... Peoples lack of directness annoys me the most I think, but closely following are things like people allowing life
Silver BallReality is a silver ball rolling down a hill. It passes us by so fast that we're never quite sure what it is, or why it's there.
Of course if your mind lives within reality, its reflective inner surface will show you nothing but yourself. You do not reach your full potential.
Those that do leave are heralded as geniuses, or insane. It is a definition we have heard many times; a definition that can change its meaning and pattern like the moving of a prism in the light.
And so I return to my existence, having watched your reality pass me by, wondering what it must be like inside.
BoxedIs this how we want to live? Trapped. Boxed in by our own volition. I cant say were used to it now because its who we were all along. It is the result of many seemingly individual thoughts and feelings by billions.
Everywhere we turn theres a wall blocking our path, our sight and experience. Someone on the other side is in the same predicament, though nether of you do a thing to change it.
I find some comfort in these boundaries too, Im ashamed to say. As much as I long for freedom I can never have, I can at least feel some comfort knowing that the world isnt wildly unlike me.
Dont get boxed in, or soon youll need that box and never want to escape. Thats my only advice today.
ChangeLife isn't about change, it's about taking chances.
Only when you take a chance to things change. In fact without the possibility of change, it wouldn't be such a daunting thing. It wouldn't be taking a chance at all.
It could be something huge, like realising where you are in life with your university or job is not where you want to be. Or it could be something smaller, like realising you want to learn the guitar.
Ether way, it always begins with a realisation, brought about by a change in who you are. E.g. you used to be happy in your job, but you've changed and now you're not any more.
After the realisation, you can do one of two things. Take a chance, or live in misery.
Once you go for it though, you won't regret it. Get a job you enjoy, learn the guitar and have fun playing it! You'll find your life happier and richer for taking chances. You'll find that you've changed, for the better.
Change, realisation, chance... Change, realisation, chance. The circle of life.
ConnectionsLove is a fluid thing, it twists and turns. I attribute it's infallible ability to surprise and confuse us to this fact.
I love a person. A specific person out of so many, has against all odds become my world. Yet due to loves blind corners if you were to ask me earlier would I end up with this person, I'd have had no clue.
Connections, that's what count in a relationship. You start with the basic ones, simple likes and dislikes. But then it gets more complex. You find that this person thinks like you do, understands what you say and how you feel about things better than people who have known you for years.
Then you realise you have another connection amongst all the others, something initially illusive and yet stronger and larger than the rest. It creeps in, and when you realise, you can't (and don't want to) stop it.
You guessed it, you're in love. Suddenly you're willing to share yourself in entirety with this person. Your likes, dislikes, thoughts, hopes, passions, needs and dreams
MasksHe wants to feel pain for what he is.
But a heart that burns with unbridled love and passion, how can such a heart feel anything but joy? Joy is a smokescreen created by fate to make him forget what he is. He is a fool.
Believes himself to be a good person at heart, probably true. Doesn't change that the rest of him isn't worthy of love, doesn't belong here.
Can't share these things, these things that are really there. Easier to share masks, trails into the woods. What makes a thing real? That it can't be shared?
Want to know a secret? Of course you do. Minds always working away, eating up worthless words. Well here's his secret. He desperately wants to share what makes him real.
But who's real enough to share it with?
TangledHe sits alone in the dark, his life tangled in front of him. A simple man with a fatal flaw. Hes weak.
Keep things in order, thats all. Everything has its place, its slot. Hes the master and lifes the machine. But what happens when its him that doesnt fit into this little dance?
He cant escape; his own heart wont allow it. His life is tangled, the world so strange to him, but his heart finds a home there.
His greatest torment is that nobody can ever truly understand him; and if he cant be understood, how can he be loved?
He awakes to a lie, his mind unable to reconcile itself. A dozen thoughts woven deep within him pull him in all directions. How will this play out? Again with the infinitely complex predictions! It cant be done.
Does life keep itself in check? Or is his mind shattered across the path he thinks he treads? When the end comes... will he fade away?
So many questions and colours fill his mind now, as dizzy
LifelinesA chance connection between people, two lifelines cross like particle collisions, sending forth beautiful paths in all directions.
Some of these paths lead to love, but they dont know that yet.
Oblivious, they stride confidently onward, intertwining their lifelines until they are inseparable. They learn about each others talents and tastes, niggles and nuances, brilliance and beauty.
Then one day a moment of clarity strikes. Theyre in love. How could they not have realised until now? What do they do next? Where will their life take them tomorrow, and will their love be there to share it with them?
Love is sudden, love is strange. Love is wanting to connect your lifeline with theirs, never to be cut.